Dear Massi, I need an impartial opinion. I am getting to know a divorced man for the purpose of marriage.

He got divorced some time ago.But even though he's looking to get married, he seems quite obsessed with his ex-wife.

All conversations always go back to his ex wife.

At first I felt sorry for him as his ex sounded like a really nasty and manipulative person. But I am starting to think the divorce was because of him.

He's really nasty about her.

He tells me personal information about her, private stuff that should remain between a couple.

When she was out for dinner with friends he told me that he obviously wasn't keeping her tight enough if she can afford a baby sitter and a nice meal in a restaurant.

He's told me he has fantasies about running her over and the only reason he won't do it is because he needs her to raise their kids.

He even admitted that he's tried to hack into her email account because he thinks she might be going out with someone.

I asked him if he's ready to get married, why can't she?

He said she would be a bad mother if she got married again.

He's a nice enough guy apart from this really obsessive side to him.

I've been divorced twice, therefore I'm no catch, so I think I need to stop being so fussy or scrutinising his words too much.

But at the same time, I am worried. Please help.

Massi Says: An acrimonious divorce can have a huge impact on both parties.

It is not uncommon for both the man and the woman to feel hurt and bitterness towards their ex-spouse.

There is clearly a lot of tension that remains in their relationship, hence this man's constant need to vent.

However, you are right to be concerned.

It is completely inappropriate that he is trying to hack into his ex-wife's email account.

He has no right to act in such a way.

Furthermore, his wish to control her financially is also a huge cause for concern.

Whilst this man feels comfortable to open up and share his thoughts with you, it is utterly irrational and disconcerting that he 'fantasises' about running his wife over.

This says a lot about this man's personality which is not something you will be able to change.

The warning signs are stark, and you should not push these to the back of your mind.

You may feel that you are not in a position to be picky when getting married as it is your third time, however, you should never allow yourself to settle for someone who does not feel right, just so you can be married.

You deserve to be happily married and in a loving and secure relationship.

Explore your options and don't make a hasty decision.