At what part of human history was it decided that it would be okay to beat kids in a mosque? What were we going to learn? 

Yet, there are still folk who think it was a good thing! ‘It made us into the men we are’ – no it didn’t it – it scared the pants off us and made our lives miserable. We hated learning anything and would try our best to avoid the dreaded stick.

We must pay homage to all the brothers who took a beating in mosque and never flintched. They were the real heroes of modern Asian Britain.

The 120 minutes we brothers spent in mosques were rough.

The class was made up of the following characters.

You had the overweight kid. The kid who needed to go to the toilet every ten minutes. The really clever kid. The Maullana’s favourite. The kid who didn’t bathe too often. The kid who managed to get away with everything. The kid who just didn’t know anything no matter how hard he tried. The kid who always pretended to be ill. The kid who made everyone laugh.

And then there was the kid who got beat. I, my dear readers was that kid. I should have told someone but I didn’t.

The clever thing the Maullana always did was persuade my dad that is was actually my fault. He would make out that I deserved the odd beating because I had dis-respected the mosque. 

Someone giggled – I got beat. Someone made a noise – I got beat. Someone forgot to bring their fees in – I got beat.

Once I got beat after I was watching someone else get beat.

I got so used to getting beat that I didn’t even feel the pain after the first few sticks.

I am certain the old maullana would tell the new maullana… “Look, if you are having a bad day…beat that kid…he can take it.”

And boy did I take a beating. Do the murga (chicken position) – I would stand there for an hour.

He would get so annoyed he would walk past and push me over with his foot. Thinking back, that has to be the most demeaning thing you can do to another person.

Seven smacks on the hand with a stick – let’s round it off to a cool ten.

At one point I managed to tire the Maullana out completely and he had to ask one of his pupils to finish the job.

Another time he was in the middle of a beating and made me fetch him a glass of water. He downed it and continued the beating.

But even after all that do you know something? I actually forgive that m***** ******.

If nothing else he taught me a valuable lesson. Without that beating I would learn not to beat anyone else. Life.

(NOTE: It is an offence for any religious teacher to beat or touch you inappropriately. You do not have to put up with this. Talk to someone OR tell your parents. If you do need any assistance you can call the NSPCC on 0808 800 5000).