Ever heard the one about the Asian fella who decided to book his wedding at a venue after having been put in touch with the manager through a good friend.

Having spoken to the owner who himself was a fellow Asian he then got himself a really good deal and went about organising a lavish wedding for himself.

He decided to pay late, arrive early and then left the venue when he felt like it. In the process he left the whole place a mess. The owner being a gentleman did make a few comments about how the customer was taking advantage of things a little and should pay for the damage done and the extra cleaning his staff would have to do.

This left the customer angry. He then proceeded to tell everyone else what a **** this owner guy was.

The point is, we Asians want professional service but we still want people to bend over backwards and give us ‘Apna favours’. You want to be treated like royalty and like a ‘proper’ company would but want to take advantage of the old Asian style discounts.

You know the ‘Asian favours’ that set us apart of the natives. Where you get something for free and a discounted price because you know the family.

It shouldn’t work like that though, should it.

If the owner of the wedding hall had been white we know full well the customer would have arrived on time, left on time and cleaned the urinals with a toothbrush to make sure he got his deposit back.

At the end of the day it would have been all about Quality Street box gifts and ‘thank you – thank you sir’ all the way to the car park.

The worst of the lot of the some of the culturally aware bunch. You know the type. They talk about helping the fellow Muslim in every sentence but then stiff the guy good and proper to save a few quid.

I hate those *****. These human beings will give it large about morals but will act different when dealing with a fellow Asian.

I call this ‘Empire Syndrome’. They have a gene within them that makes them bend over for their former imperial masters. Maybe their ancestors were the ones who sold the rest of us out.

They are the type of folk who in the 18th century decided to help their supposed masters all in the hope they would leave them alone and persecute someone else. *****.

Now that gene has been passed down through the generations. Because there’s always going to be one rule for us payndus and one rule for everyone else.